백조 (The White Swan)

Because I know you're enormously curious, here's what I did today, edited for content (i.e. blowjobs and bowel movements):

After celebrating Slumdog Millionaire's Best Picture win last night a little too indulgently by way of Tennesse Sipping Whisky and Cheetos (because I can!), I woke up at seven, not long before the 18th Letter left for daycare. The little girl safely on her way, I heated two cheeseburger Hot Stuffs in the microwave and then ate them with a cold can of V8. Then I went back to sleep.

I awoke three hours later, smoked a square, and watched The Curious Case of

(Tracy McGrady)

Benjamin Button with Legs. Here's my rapid-fire review:

I love David Fincher like I love my dick size. I will again state, for the record, that Zodiac is one of the finest, most well-directed and acted films I've ever seen. But for every Fincher masterpiece (Zodiac, Se7en, Fight Club), there's a failure (Alien 3, Panic Room). Like The Game, Benjamin Button falls somewhere in the middle for me. Its first and third acts are outstanding, and while the second act is certainly compelling, it's too bad it stretches out longer than Manute Bol. 3/4 *_*

After the movie finished, I helped the 18th Letter with her homework, ate a fish dinner, and watched Hanna Montana. (And while I begrudgingly accept and understand the show's popularity, I get up in arms at its portrayal of adults -- parents, teachers -- as idiotic buffoons. Then I remind myself that Saved by the Bell did the same thing. Then I stop thinking about kids shows.) I tucked the 18th Letter in, thought about reading more of Aravind Adiga's phenomenal "The White Tiger," opted instead to drink cold beer and warm whisky while watching/listening to the Celtics-Nuggets game, and took a picture of a behemoth chocolate bar.

And here I am, half drunk and full retard, trying to find a way to rationalize my hyperactive anticipation for the March 6 release of Watchmen. Like many people, I'm constantly revising my geek checklist of Things I Want to Watch/Hear/Experience/Fuck Before I Die, and presently Zack Snyder's Watchmen film is the sole occupant on that list. The Star Wars Saga, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the Harry Potter books, and Barack Obama's presidency have all occurred within my lifetime, and save perhaps Guillermo del Toro's The Hobbit and seeing Lee Hyori naked, Watchmen is the only thing I have to obsess over as far as entertainment is concerned.

So it is with a hopeful heart and an alcohol-drenched liver that I pray, pray, pray to return safely to the Peninsula in a week's time so as to fulfill a promise I made to a dear friend. See, Kmart, the Laurel to my Hardy, the Rerun to my Roger, is not long for this world -- and before he passes under the veil of mystery that is human existence and won't have to hurt anymore, I'm taking him to Hooters and to see Watchmen.

March 7, 2009.