Original Gangster

A few weeks back I was waiting in the subway station (the loop, as we call it) for my train home, listening to some music, checking out university girls and lamenting the futility of my existence along with the rest of the hoi-polloi. Then, without warning (they don't announce these things), a god damned wholecar pulled out of the tunnel.

And it was beautiful.

I've been thinking about old age recently. I'm a father now, and a professional. I've also reached an age where sport stars retire because their bodies break down. Case in point, I did my ankle late last year playing indoor soccer (Philistine, I know) and it's still healing. I feel like Grant Hill. Well, before he sold his soul to the devil for some happy feet. More to the point, I should be well past graf, right?

But there it was, in all its glory. A choppy little piece of sedition rolling through the arteries of capital within my fair city. And all I could do was grin.

A few days later, I was out the back of my apartment working on my car. Out of the corner of my eye I eye this kid, couldn't have been more than 12, walking past in a blue hoodie. He didn't see me and I sure didn't think much anything of him. Until a second later, when he paused, pulled out a fatcap and sloppily tagged a nearby street sign.

Without missing a beat, I yelled out to the kid. He shit himself and bolted. At that moment, as my old man might say, 'I then proceeded on foot and chased the assailant'. I was not holding a Krispy Kreme.

I don't know why I chased him. I sure as hell didn't know what I was going to do if I corralled him, but in my mind it seemed like the right thing to do. I am, after all, an adult.

I only ran about 20-30 metres before I was painfully reminded of the limitations of my ankle. I pulled up lame as that kid pulled away like Usain Bolt. He looked back, hoodie still on, and then stepped it up a gear.

As he disappeared up the street, it occurred to me that I had no desire to see him get caught or busted by the police. Instead, I just wanted to school him.

"You're fucking toy" I yelled.

See, I might be getting older, but I still know what time it is.