Runny Nose

Remember that time (pick one, preferably the last, as it makes what follows more cohesive and your skin smoother, your hair more lustrous) when I said I was calling it a day until March? Yeah, that's still the case...except for when it isn't.

Bear with me.

I don't think I've ever written in length here about fantasy basketball. Trust me, I won't start now. All I want to say is that it has helped me care, for the first time, about the physical well-being of complete strangers. (And if you need to know, with Deron Wiliams, Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady, and Andrew Bynum on my team, I care a fucking lot.)...I'm sick. Like sickle-cell anemia. Like Captain Trips. Like Marvin Gaye when his father shot him in the chest. Like watching an octogenarian breastfeed her 10-year-old great granddaughter on television. And, yes, I might be delirious, but, no, I didn't make up that last one. When I knocked off work early this afternoon at 2, the stars were aligned. I WAS MEANT TO SEE THAT...Has anyone ever mashed up an entire movie? Besides The Phantom Menace, I mean. Regardless of whether or not it's been done before*, E.T. and The Howling would be so fucking cool. I'd do it myself, if I weren't too busy figuring out how mosquitoes can fly but people can't. (Birdy notwithstanding.)...It's not as hard as Contra 4 or figuring out (*snicker*) how your gas boiler works, but Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia is pretty damn hard. And you know what? Daddy loves a challenge. I never tire of killing Dracula. Key word: Dracula...My dog is constipated and my teeth hurt...


* and it probably fucking has