Framework

I was eating a Rice Krispies square and furiously scratching a rash under my pull-up shorts when I saw Candace Dawes's arm plunge into a sewer grate after she missed 2 in hopscotch and fell over 6, 9, and 5. Arms splayed.

Her thumb was dislocated, and her favorite two front teeth were ground up like the bastard chalk Mrs. Maisy would let accumulate on the blackboard ledge until the nubs eventually crumbled like calcite, but other than that she was okay. In fact, the tragic loss of her front chompers -- which two years later were replaced by dental crowns -- would turn out to be a blessing: Coupled with her perky breasts, by the time she hit high school Candy was, if I may say so, one sweet piece.

Candace Dawes, as I discovered a few days ago on her Facebook page, recently passed. The circumstances leading up to her death are still unknown.

I didn't know Candy well, although sometimes I pretended I did. We used to draw Crayon pictures in class, and, later, in high school, we mixed chemicals in the science lab. Occasionally she talked to me.

I didn't attend her funeral, either. I wasn't invited. But I hope that someone -- God, please -- remembers the rumor that she once ate a bicycle. I hope I'm not the only one who remembers that.

If you attended Lester B. Pearson High School in the 90s and remember a girl named Candace Dawes who, as rumor had it, ate a Schwinn, please contact me at cockstorm81@yahoo.com. I'm trying to piece things together.