Fun(nel)

Sparkles's secretary (who looks exactly like Kate Winslet minus the chub, plus the legs): Sir, Billy Mitchell is on line two.

Spark: Who?

Sec: Billy Mitchell.

Sp: I don't know a Billy Mitchell.

Se: Well, sir, he says he knows you. He told me...

Billy Mitchell: Listen, Forbes, you know exactly who I am, so don't play dumb.

S: THE Billy Mitchell?

William "Mitchy" Mitchell: Knock it off. You better give me the respect that I deserve or I'ma take it by force. Blast you with a .45 colt, make you summersault.

s: Oh, the Pac-Man guy.

Mitch: S'right.

e: You're amazing.

Billy Mitchell: I'm okay, I guess.

o: Hey, have you ever thought about not being such a reclusive douchebag? I mean, it works for JD Salinger, but, sorry Mitchy, no one really cares about you. Nor your hot sauce. And those ties suck balls. Are you a Scientologist?

Billy: A what?

i: Maybe I spelled it worng.

n: Anyway, have you beaten Contra 4 yet?

Bill: I beat it the day I got it, asshole.

f: Beat Nanostray 2?

Bi: Matter of time. I could shoot the Sphinx's nose out of Napoleon's hand.

o: Hold on, what?

B: I'm on some bullshit, don't worry about it.

r: Yeah, I know how it is. By the way, the Internet hates you. King of Kong crucified you.

b: Well, what can you do?

b: Not much, I guess. Still, isn't there some pride at stake?

What's at stake now?

I dunno, you called me.

[Click]