Monday, September 10, 2007

The PK 27 -- Track 4

Note: this post is approved by Cancon.

Say what you want about Christianity,

(except that; that was out of line, pal)

but, like Greek and Roman myths, the English language is loaded with some pretty neat biblical metaphors, allusions, aphorisms and iconography*. 9 out of ten atheists** agree: Christianity often makes for some wicked art***. (Was that ironic adjective usage heresy? Did I blaspheme?)

Case in point: Jesse Winchester's "Step by Step," which cribs from the American spiritual "When the Saints Go Marching In," and freaks it from the perspective of a hesitant laggard who, instead of ascending Jacob's golden ladder, would prefer to remain behind in order to understand "the trouble down below." The song also serves -- in its lyrics "many a happy-go-lucky saint has made that long, long drop" -- as a reminder that the distance between Heaven and Hell is merely a fall from grace away. Word to Michael Vick.

If it appears I'm proselytizing, trust me that I'd rather convert you to this song than convince you to kick ass for the Lord. "Step by Step," with its ploddingly thick harmonica and bass, is dirty in the holiest sense of the word. (Ways in which the Christian Church has failed: 1) not commissioning a series of porno movies which titilate yet manage to shame, 2) snack foods, 3) Sunday morning service****).

Would that I could bless you with a Youtube video, you're gonna have to make an Internet exodus worthy of Moses to find this holy gem. (Or download the finale of The Wire's first season and wait for the ending montage, though that seems too easy a salvation.)

I have faith in you, cowboyboz_77. Seek the promised land.






* Unlike Greek and Roman mythology, however, Christianity has failed to produce any kickass cartoons, comic book superheroes, or planets (bring back Pluto). Jesus wept.

** No caps on the 'a,' you heathens. (I sincerely hope any atheists reading this can take a joke. Because they're so touchy and all.)

*** I realize I'm putting myself before a firing squad with that statement, so hear me out. Using familiar Bible verses before killing some motherfucker = good (see: Fiction, Pulp); trying to convert listeners through pansy-ass rock music = bad (see: P.O.D.; Stryper). I'm no prophet, but I'm fairly sure God hates lame art made in His name more than you do.

**** How can you compete with hangovers and the NFL, church? Don't be so stubborn; take the L on Sundays and move to a new time slot. It worked for The Simpsons [dodges lightning bolt].

1 comment:

  1. Last night I dreamed that Jon Favreau loved me:

    http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/ironman/small_trailer.html

    Ecstacy.

    ReplyDelete