This is what a guy gets for listening to Sparkles' suggestion to partake in the 'old school doggy-style' with a certain, delectable Korean songstress.
This is what a guy deserves for listening to Return to Cookie Mountain six times a day.
This is what happens when someone's exceptionally cruel mother decides to withhold a precious shipment of CheezUms.
This is what we all knew would happen if I actually developed a sex drive.
This is why I shouldn't have (momentarily) forsaken the harsh mistress that is Dragon Quest VIII.
Like I told the kids last week in Sunday School; love hurts.
Hati
P.S. What happens when Tiberious dabbles in herbal medicine? You're allowed two guesses, and one of them can't be that he's feeling better. Word to prune juice spliced with ginseng extract, and acupuncture.
But I DO feel better. (Until I peeped that sausage-link dookie, I mean.) Honest to Grog, I will never again diss herbal medicine: my stomach is settled like soup skin; my visage is clearer than Creedence's revival water; and I don't want to jinx things, but I'm pretty sure my johnson grew 1/4 of an inch overnight.
ReplyDelete(Not that I need it, mind you. The Tiberious Meat Hammer, as formidable as it is, strikes pleasure. Look for a future post entitled 'Wait'll You See My D...' Word to the unfortunately-named Ying Yang Twins and future rapists.)
In closing, I'm like Dave Chappelle, only instead of going to Africa to cold turkey my drug habit, I've been playing Nintendo DS and eating Cialis -- I mean Munchos -- like they're Flintstone vitamins. And I'm hooked on Chinese -- or, if you prefer, "Korean," but everybody knows the Chinese invented Korea -- herbal medicine.
Cuz it makes me samrt. Gives me calrity.
PS - The eagle has landed. I repeat, the eagle has landed. Word to the 18th Letter, aka my adorable daughter, Rahne Victoria Forbes.
Still, none of this would have befallen me, had you not made the suggestion to listen to Return to Cookie Mountain six times in one day.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this from the night you thought you were bleeding to death?
ReplyDelete