Psychedelic Kimochi - NYT Edition

Back when I lived in Seoul, I grabbed the International Herald Tribune pretty much everyday. I don't imagine that I read it much, but it felt good to have (semi) reputable journalism in my hands during my long commute. Afterall, I was living in the land of the Chosun Ilbo. Shit, I was happy to read anything that didn't endorse the restorative effects of pickled cabbage or speak of the perils of fan related injury and mortality.

As my cohorts in Asia can attest, the IHT also comes with the New York Times crossword. Call me a geek if you must, you judgmental faggot, but I loved that crossword ... at least early on in the week.

You see, come Monday, I'd hop the subway, jump to the crossword and hit words faster than Craig Hodges hit threes. But by the end of the week, I couldn't hit the side of a barn and my brain was deader than Kurt Vonnegut. (Too soon?). I attributed the weekly demise in my (f)lexicon to occupational fatigue and/or poorly refrigerated milk. Whatever the cause, it frustrated the hell out of me.

It wasn't until I picked up 'Me Talk Pretty One Day' by David Sedaris that I discovered the NYT crossword was designed to become progressively more difficult throughout the course of the week. Monday the easiest, culminating in Friday/Saturday as the most complex. Jesus saves, Mr Sedaris, I wasn't becoming progressively more retarded.

It was a pleasant surprise, but an uncomfortable one insofar as it was a revelation left entirely to chance. See, this information was conveniently unavailable anywhere in the vicinity of the damned crossword. Shibboleths, see? Honestly, New York is the bane of my fucking existence.

Back here in Oz, I have no easy access to the NYT crossword. I'm left to the hack crosswords in our local rags. Thanks to the NYT, I can finish the average crossword in minutes. I feel like Rainman. However it is a bittersweet victory, to be sure, because the real crossword sits out there in silence, mocking me. Calling me a first down, six letters, to stunt development.

I'll be back. In the meantime, I really do applaud anyone who can complete the Friday crossword in one sitting. I also fear for that person's wellbeing.

What does all this have to do with Misa Campo? That's easy, it's a Monday.