I'm a Sailor Peg, and I Lost My Leg

Bill Cosby was wrong. I know the idea of reverse psychology wasn't created by the man, but it was from him that, as a youth, I first learned the concept. So did Theo.

On this occasion, my (over a) week-long hiatus was of my own making, rather than the efforts of those who would seek to destroy Herr Sprakels. PK is neither talkin loud nor saying nuthin (please excuse the double negative, for the Godfather's sake), and I was -- still am -- being as hands off as my unmistakably sexy contributors, in hope that someone, anyone (are you there, Idealjetsam? It's me, Sparkles), would seize the mantle, carpe the diem...do it till you're satisfied.

The dog days of summer, I'm sure things are tough all over. (Word to Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong.) I'm sure everyone's got a job to do; everyone's got to move and groove (I will kiss your pinky ring if you caught that reference). Myself, I'm hotter than the Globetrotters in the Bahamas. Fuck, summer, you're only good at one thing: women's fashion. And that's only by default, rather than any concerted effort.

Myself, on Sunday I bought a Nintendo DS Lyte. My favorite jam back in the day was NDS for precedent. I haven't had this much fun since I slept with your neighbor's mistress. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin is doper than Chris Benoit on angel dust; Super Mario Bros. are back like the lumbar region; Lego Star Wars II is my arrestedly developed wet dream; and Brain Age 2, like Albus Dumbledore, makes me ironically content with being both stupid AND lazy.

So if you don't see me, it doesn't mean I saw you first. It means I'm holed up in Chez Sparkles (Lite), mastering the finer art of 21st Century passive-agressive misanthropy. (Or masturing the finer art of 21st Century passive-aggressive misogony, aka porn.)

But I couldn't sit idle and not comment on the trade which will send Kevin Garnett to the Celtics. There's giddy, and then there's Jesus Allen-Paul "Truth Crushed to Earth Shall Rise Again" Pierce-KG-level giddy. I'm doing backflips onto a bed of nails right now, and it hurts so good.

I bet Tim Donaghy is, too. (Pun Nintended...I mean intended.)

Peep it; I have crazy visions, son: picture KG and Ray in the iconic picture below, with Danny Ainge far left. THAT'S THE CELTICS MEDIA GUIDE RIGHT THERE!



PS - Am I the only one who finds it a little weird that two young prospects named Green won't be playing ball for the Celts in '07/08, but WILL be playing for teams with similar colors? Is an NBA aesthetics style guide manipulating these moves? Conspiracy!