Fillmore

I've been getting quite a bit of sleep lately. It's not that I am terribly depressed, nor am I fatigued, per se, but rather, I have a pretty good time during slumber. You know? Of course you do.

My daily routine is a rather hectic, surfeit bonanza of Beck's, thighs, and adhesive tape*, as many -rightfully- presume. I do enjoy life, and there is nothing to complain about, but nonetheless I do confess that at times I yearn for a simpler existence, one utterly devoid of both material wealth and spiritual enlightenment. I seek the bounty of fanciful diversion, and nocturnal remission is the key to my salvation (but not yours, because you touch yourself at night). The previous evening was no exception, as I was treated to not one, but two (sexually derelict) subconscious reveries**. The first of these dreams was, I shall admit, a bit ethereally abstract, and as such, I am daunted by the task of describing it to you, but alas, I started this post, and I am damn well going to finish it.

-Catapult-

In the first dream I felt my soul, nay, atman spiral downward, through the heavenly stratosphere toward a defiled planet controlled by a demonic entity of some manner. The celestial body in question may have been our Earth, but I prefer the avenue of colorful allegory, so let's assume that it was just some place like Earth. My spirit bore through an immense canopy of hitherto unassailable foliage (oddly, my soul suffered a few scrapes), and came to the solitary statue of a warrior. It wasn't a chiseled, macho warrior such as Conan the Barbarian, but it was particularly regal in attire, and for that I am grateful. Thrust toward the point of my origination was a sword of exquisite craftsmanship, as if to beckon my arrival, and arrive I did. Invigorated by my essence, the statue sprung to life, eager to dispense beatific justice.

The forest was indeed endless, as wherever I cast my gaze, there was nothing short of boundless timberland, bathed in a powder blue concoction of light and shade. Alas, there was little time to enjoy the scenery, as I was besieged by countless, swarthy goblins of the callous variety, as well as malformed, voracious baboons (and those baboons didn't fuck around, believe me). Despite their malevolent ardor, they were no match for my suave mastery of the sacrosanct blade, and with every enemy I dispatched came an explosion of fiery proportion. No big deal, but strangely, I had to leap over the occasional growth of thorny thicket, as my dainty feet were, apparently, exempt from invulnerability. Goblins? No problem. A prickle? Get me the fuck out of there, stat.

I also ran into a few coniferous denizens of the wondrous forest. One was a tree hag of some sort, who attempted to douse me with acidic juices, and naturally I chose to behead the old...hag***. On a positive note, there was a helpful, albeit crotchety, treant that offered to assist me with some of the dangerous thickets, by allowing me to hitch a ride on his sizable branches (on a Freudian note, he must have represented my mother, as she's always been a strong, masculine presence in my life). Ultimately, I encountered a daunting centaur covered in ornate, obsidian armor and bearing a spear of intimidating merit. I won't bore you with the sordid details of the spectacular ordeal, except to mention that he could discharge some serious electricity from the aforementioned spear, much like Emperor Palpatine. I emerged victorious from the tribulation, but to be fair, I must admit that I cheated. Don't ask me how****.

At that point, I awoke. Stimulated by my faux-homeric exploit, I decided to turn my television on, and enjoy a beloved Goo-Goo Cone. It was then that I stopped and realized that I should get back to bed, instead of terrorizing the cherished Psychedelic Kimchi audience, at least until I arise tomorrow.


Zeppelin Wolf

P.S. I almost forgot about the requisite kimochi.




* idealjetsam knows precisely what -and who- I am referring to, and he's insanely jealous. There's no need for resentment, of course, as I'm a sharing kind of guy.

** 'Hey now, Hati, how can you have a subconscious reverie, as the term reverie denotes a daydream? Do you comprehend the English language?' Wow, do I feel like an ass, what with such learned critics on my heels.

*** Revel in my brilliance!

**** 'Don't ask me how' because you shouldn't pretend to care.