My learned friend, William G, once penned a frequent little ditty called the Bill Report. The Bill Report is no more, but I'm jacking the format for a week in review. I know William G wont mind, because we're old school like that [see picture, WG on the left]. The mosaic is a homage to his infamy and, well, Japanese pornography censors asked me to do it. Think about it.If you haven't checked out Bang Barstal by now, then you best do so before it's too late.
Long live the Bill Report.
1. Did you know that Psychedelic Kimchi gets more referrals from 'Chloe Sevigny Blow Job' and 'Nancy Lang' than anything else? Well, now you do. Speaking o' which, I decided to hit up that search engine thing to check out where we placed on such searches. I promptly found some ... erm ... additional images of our patron babe, Ms Lang. Let me just say, I had no idea.Testify.
2. I'm predicting that this little video on Youtube will be the next netizen drama bomb. [You're not missing anything].
I can only hope it turns out as well as this: Lions vs Buffalo vs Crocodiles. Do yourself a god damned favour and watch the above video in its entirety.
3. Thank Christ the NBA lottery resulted in two non-tanking teams getting the rights to Oden and Durant. As a 90s NBA fan, the prospect of a reborn Sonics and Blazers axis makes me all warm and fuzzy. Again, I'm old school. I might even crank out Ten and stop washing my hair.
On the flipside, what the Cs and Memphis did during the regular season was an insult to the game. Ultimately, justice was served, because in life and in fantasy, one should never test the hoop gods.
4. On the subject of tanking, I think I finally get it: Isiah is tanking the Knicks in order to have the best chance in the 2010-11 NBA draft. Degree of difficulty? A solid 10.1. Hell, I'm pretty sure we don't even have a first round pick that year. That's how you run a team, folks.
Right into the ground.
5. The Spark/Wade paradigm just gets spookier. Check the date of the last Spark post and then the Heat injury report:
Too close for me.6. In other hoops news, it looks as though we're headed to another exhilarating Pistons/Spurs final, which should be the hoops equivalent of lawn bowls. Aside: do lawnbowlers have NBA-esque groupies? I can just imagine an old fella spitting: 'Man, check out homegirl with the purple rinse. I've heard she has two prosthetic hips and a pair of deflated spalding game balls that'll make you drool... moreso'.
Word.
The one burning question I have with the NBA finals is whether Chris Webber will be allowed on the floor during crunch time. Can you imagine if Webber were to call a non-existent timeout that cost the Pistons the championship? I'd like to see David Blaine explain that shit.
7. The Lost season finale was unbelievable. The sequence of events beginning with Hugo in the Combi was flatout champagne television. [Spoiler] And showing the future from the first scene was just genius. [/Spoiler] I no longer care if they are making it up as they go along. Good times.
8. Not sure if you caught it in your part of the world, but the 'Search for the Next Pussycat Doll' was, in its own unique way, also champagne television.TSFTNPCD [acronym, boys] was clearly the product of a bunch of coked-up TV executives saying 'Fuck it. Let's just stop pretending and make a show about hot young women in skimpy clothing and make them undertake lapdance competitions'. They even threw in singing and catfights to make it unmissable for the female audience (ie. free pass, gents). Honestly, it was the finest TV triumph since TV execs on the Simpsons dreamed up 'Police Cops'.
9. To spit some lit, I recently finished 'Black Swan Green' by David Mitchell, and while it doesn't hold a candle to Cloud Atlas, it's a fine read nonetheless. I'm now on The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano. It's all poetry, sex and south american women - sold. And if you're still sleeping on 'The Road', it has now been Pulitzered and Oprahed.
10. Some Kimochi for your ears: Ayame Misake.
Enough said. Zel out.
*Metaphysically
That nature vid is awesone. "Red in tooth and claw," and all that.
ReplyDeleteGreat, now I'm quoting Alfred Lord Tennyson. I'm sure that will fall right between "Nancy Lang Naked" and "Chloe Sevigny blowjob" on the referral stats.
Bitches be mad for the Tennyson. If you don't know, better ask somebody.
Nature vid is the deal.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am paraphrasing myself here, but:
"It was a well shot episode with some surprises, but not surprises. We all knew they would bring Walt back in for the last episode (thought his dad would be there too though) but in the end it's just too many loose strings without any design. New characters that die, old characters that die, connections with other people that don't seem to have any tie-ins to the real plot and far-fetched sequences (like why did Charlie feel the need to lock Desmond out when they could have both just dove into the exit and swam up to the surface?) written just to connect the rare plot element they randomly decide to follow through on.
Overall: Very weak show(meaning, the whole series). Some good elements, mostly weak, with awful writing. Will not be sitting through 3 more seasons of that.
However, it being Buddha's birthday and all, I did realize while watching the episode that whole premise is a Buddhist parable--life is suffering, means matter more than ends, transmigration and...karma. Now, if somebody promises me they can manage to tackle these themes competently and cohesively in the future, I may be convinced to give the show another shot. You have four months to win me over. Get to work."
Get to work!!
(As I need to too. I have a master plan in the works...)
1- The Report is yours with my blessing.
ReplyDelete2- Nancy Lang's exposed bottom is something I'll always be willing to get behind.
3- The true problem with that Korea vs Taiwan video is that it means some teacher out there is jacking it to photos of his students.