The Game, Doctor's Advocate (Review)

Before I start the review proper, some quick thoughts and notes:

- Ill 'Mare is the greatest nickname in sports, bar none. And I invented it. If it fails to catch on (Channel 22), that's the story of my life. Anyways, as mentioned in passing at the 'Net's 2nd-greatest blog, dude was looking sharp today against the Bucks. Herculean, even. What I failed to mention, however (because it goes against protocol), is that the Orange Roundie, apart from burning my retnas, did surprisingly little to piss me off. But it sure as hell raised the ire of Michael Redd in the closing minutes: he missed a free throw (I think it was his sole miss from the stripe that game), was clearly vexed, and vociferated "It's the *expletive* ball, man." He said that twice. Redd Dog, welcome aboard.

Blame. The. Ball.

- I don't want to scare you, but there's a (definite) possibility that my blogging

(obsession)

activity is going to slow its roll like 5 o' clock traffic come next weekend. I'm such an Indian giver.

(And, yes, that's a subtle hint for the vaunted PK Braintrust to pick up the slack. The memo's signed "JJJ")

As for the why, in the immortal words of Robert Plant, all will be revealed. Maybe.

- Lastly (because it's a Saturday night, and I know you're simply dying to read how Doctor's Advocate rates), I have to mention, because I'm

(mentally retarded)

Canadian, that it's colder than a mutha tonight. Coming back to The Holy City (bet you didn't know we have 474 hospitals. That's a FACT) from Seoul earlier, I waited for the 9407 bus (the transportation equivalent of a body cavity search*) for 30 minutes. Picture Jack Nick at the end of The Shining. I hate winter. I loathe winter.

I need more insulation.

***

I don't know why you hoes keep tryin' me:


Lookin' At You

The game's voice got deeper. He sounds all growed up. My little Hercules. Actually, he sounds sorta like Dre. So does the beat. But that's not the case. Right? This is produced by Urban Pope. Um, sure. Awesome opening track.

Da Shit

I'm absolutely in love with the title. It's funny to pretend that Dre didn't produce this. Let's keep it up. Actually, it sounds almost like something Andre 3000 (no Idlewild) might cook up. But the credit goes to DJ Khalil. Pat yourself on the back, DJ Khalil, Barry Horowitz style. I'm in the Hall of Fame, next to Snoop, behind 'Pac. The fuck? Another capital track, but one suggestion: let's make a new emo-gangster rap category, right motherfucking now.

It's Okay (One Blood)

Classic. Music to drive by. The best mainstream hip-hop song I've heard in, Jesus, a few years at least (word to Kanye West**). Of course people always try to find fault in Game's style because he name drops, but I like the name dropping. Perhaps you've gotten that impression. Word to Curtis Mayfield.

Compton

Live. I can't believe this was produced by that dipshit will.i.am. Well.I.can, because the guy is talented, but so is Darius Miles, and he's not going to be winning Player of the Week honors anytime this...forever. My glock to me is like Ice Cube to Yo-Yo. Nice. Like I said, I like the name dropping and all, but when you reference the Black Eyed Peas, we got a problem. That aside, the lyrics so far are fiyah.

Remedy

I know it's been 20 years (really!?), but no one

(puts Baby in the corner)

samples Black Steel In the Hour of Chaos. But I can't front, this is dope. Dig the scratches over the break. 2nd verse is incredible. Game switches his cadence up nicely. Another fantastic track. We're 5-for-5. No jinx.

Let's Ride

The album's lead single (I think), produced by The Great White Dope**, aka Scott Storch. It's a good song, but that's about it. It isn't as amazing as the previous five tracks. It certainly isn't as amazing as them.

Too Much

So we rock it like Tracy MacGrady. Sweet, Yao Ming? Nate Dogg mails it in here. (Peace, denz.) Storch makes up for the B-plusocity of "Let's Ride" with a better beat here. But the grittiness of the album is slipping like dress shoes on bowling lanes. Give me a hard track, stat!

...

Wouldn't Get Far

...

Jesus doesn't walk. But this Kanye West-produced/assisted memo to groupies is solid, save the annoying censorship (blame lawyers). Vida Guerra gets her comeuppance. Still...

Scream On 'Em

I probably woulda killed myself if this wasn't a banger. Fortuitously, I will live to see another day. (Good -- tomorrow is meatloaf night.) Swizz Beatz produced this? Bonkers. I'm the rap Stackhouse. The fuck!!? As a slight aside, can we put an end, once and for all (word to Stud Doogie), to "rhyming" the same word over and over again? Game takes it to a new low here, using "building" as the offending word. And, no, it's not used creatively, a la Common Sense's "Communism".

One Night

"Hood" is the new "building". I'm going punch something. By the way, for those counting at home, the current number of Dr. Dre references is 1,080. This track is not bad meaning bad, but it certainly isn't bad meaning good, either. It certainly isn't bad meaning good.

Doctor's Advocate

Game and Busta Rhymes miss Dre like Bambi misses his moms. I wonder why? Isn't this the thug version of John Cusack -- who is Psychedelic Kimchi like a motherfuck, by the way -- holding up that ghetto blaster in Say Anything? Like I said, emo-gangster rap. Also: word has it that the remix of this will feature guest artists Rakim, Truth Hurts, Hittman (word to Brett Hart), Eve, Ice Cube, and the ghost of MC Ren. Among others.

Ol' English

Somewhere, Talib Kweli is crying. And if Naomi Klein is a fan of hip-hop, I imagine she is, too. All kidding aside (you know I love you, Nao-K), this is as heartfelt as Doctor's Advocate gets. Excuse me while I reflect on my own youth and shed a few tears for the TurboGrafx-16**** (word to Kmart).

California Vacation

Time warp back to '94. Produced by "Jonathan Rotem". Yeah, right. Word to Richard Bachman.

Bang

Caveat to all

(thieves)

downloaders: it's probably a good idea to qualify your search if your looking for this track. I dunno why, either. Hey! it's the Dogg Pound! Daz just said "Booyaka! Booyaka!" Word to Rumble. Somewhere, Ras Kass is cackling maniacally.

Around the World

Ooh, featuring Jamie Foxx. This has got to be good, then. I wouldn't know, though -- my CD keeps skipping past the track, which is a euphemism for saying "it was impossible as fuck to download." When I eventually buy the CD and hear it, I'll let you know. Like Part IV of In Cold Blood , consider it a work in progress. Word to Shaun Livingston.

Why You Hate The Game

See above. It's all very metaphorical.

Rating: Unless the final two tracks (word to the Teac 7300 RX) are heaven like Mike Landon's Stairway to, Doctor's Avocado is a strobe light honey.

3.5 out of 5 *_*



* More on that tomorrow. Maybe.

** See what I did there?

*** In both senses of the word.

**** Is there a heaven for Bonk's Adventure?