Requiem for a Holiday

Back when I was a kid, Chuseok used to really mean something, you know? These days, however, it's grown so commercialized, so vapid. So commercially vapid, so vapidly commercial. Like Saturday Night Live,The Simpsons, and Outkast, Chuseok has become a grotesque parody of its former self.

As a kid Chuseok for me meant squeezing into the back of my family's Pony with my brother and sister, traveling to my father's hometown of Etobicoke, staying up late playing 윳놀이 with my relatives, and stuffing myself with songpyeon until my little belly was fit to burst. Man, those were the days. Despite my grandfather's raucous, rank farts, I never had any Chuseok memories later on like the ones I had when I was a boy. Jesus, does anyone?

Nowadays though it's all one big commercial farce. What would my forbears say if they knew that our once great holiday has become nothing more than an excuse to visit theme parks and buy SPAM by the caseload? Thank Confucius I'm dead, I bet.

Which is why, this year, I'm refusing to participate in the chaebol-raped festivities, instead opting to create my own celebration -- one stripped of crass consumerism and manufactured sentimentality.

And I'd tell you what it is were I not fearful that if I did it too would become corrupted. No thanks. Have fun with your "Chuseok," Korea. Me, I'm doin' my own dang.



*****

In all seriousness, I'm going to take it easy until next Monday. You might get a few more Psychedelic Kimchi entries before then, but they'll likely be my B or C rather than my A game. It's been a long time since I've had a vacation, and I'm going to spend it getting drunk, reading, listening to music, watching movies and sports, playing basketball, waging war against the insect kingdom, and taking pictures of my handsome visage with my cell phone. How this is any different from my regular everyday routine, I'm unsure; but whatever. Perhaps I'll try brushing my teeth better. I could be a pretty great teeth brusher if I put my mind to it, I think.

NB - For my part, I have 2 Chuseok gifts for you sperm donors. The first is this:



The 2nd I'm keeping a secret. Hint: the prodigal son returns. Look to the west.