Here's a dirty joke. Before you accuse me of being the devil's son-in-law, please read this first:
A family walks into a talent agent's office. There's a father, a mother, a son, a daughter and a dog.
"Sorry," the agent says, "we don't sign family acts. They're too cutesy for today's market."
"Just give us five minutes," the father says. "This'll blow you away."
The agent consents. The father snaps his fingers, and he, the mother, son, daughter and dog all stand at attention. The father takes an American flag from his backpack, unfurls it, zips down his trousers, unfurling his dick, too, and proceeds to piss all over the flag. The mother next takes a can of lighter fluid from her back pocket and squirts its full contents onto the flag. The son then pulls down his pants, crouches precariously over the wet flag and deposits a shit the size of a baby's leg on it. He tags in his sister, who thrusts her index and middle finger down her throat until she has forced herself to vomit all over the sodden flag. Finally, the dog struts up and, looking around questioningly at the family, non-verbally asks for a cue. The family exchange glances, and then they, one by one, take turns jerking the dog off until he spews a meager thimbleful of cum on the desecrated flag. That task completed, the father takes a machete from his bag and cuts the dog's head off with a single stroke. He tosses the head on the flag. The mother wraps it up and sets it alight with a match. The remainder of the dog's body the family eats, the father and mother getting both front legs, the son and daughter the hind ones. After the fire has started to die down and their meal is finished, they take turns picking their teeth with the dog's tail.
"That's quite an act," the talent agent remarks, astonished. "What do you call it?"
In unison, the family smiles and says, "we're the Aristocrats!"